Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize