I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
