the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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