My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
