never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
