Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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