Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
