So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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