Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
