Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
