The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize