when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
