now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
