i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize