Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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