If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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