What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
