I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just high enough for therapy.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
