I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
