Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
