Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
