Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
