Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I don't think brook has ever known best
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
