One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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