just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
