Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
