whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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