you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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