At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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