Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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