yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just puked most of my soul out..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
