Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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