ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
