So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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