Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize