1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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