clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Semen is not good for contacts.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
