She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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