I wannas sexs uuuuu
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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