I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
