Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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