I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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