i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
false alarm, still single
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
