what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So squirting runs in the family.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
