Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize