In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
