I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
