We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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