I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I love you.
Bad choice
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
