Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
