As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
