I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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