I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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