i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
