I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
