but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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