I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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