I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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