We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
