And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
