can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize