Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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