In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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