Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
