You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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