ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
