How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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