My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize