So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
