Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
