I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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