Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
