I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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