you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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