So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
