i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
