Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
