Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
