Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
